So here it goes. I am opening a business soon and it's been pretty hectic, especially being a mom with two small kids and two cats and a husband to feed and care for each day. It is a fine art/card and stationary business where I will be designing and making by hand. I never thought I would be doing this for work, but things got simmered down to this pretty quickly since last October or November, whenever it was... That last big blowout I had with my hubby. He basically went loco about how dirty the house was and that I was abandoning my housewifey and motherly duties -- so I can bury myself in that "art space" I created in the guest room. Yeah it was a big blowout for him and I, I even considered leaving him (at least for a few days) but instead we slept separately for a couple of weeks and during that time I decided that I was going to start my business. Ha!
Actually this venture is not just to spite him, really. I've always wanted to claim the rights of a creative person, full time -- ever since I was little. But with many things in my former years, I couldn't allow myself to feel that desire, or take myself seriously for that matter. But as I got older and became of age, and as I had less and less time to nurture myself since the kids were born, I found that this one thing made "my" life worthwhile -- to draw anything and everything, with a willingness to improve each time. This doesn't mean that I don't love my family, I am definitely here for them. But when I am bare naked and have nothing to call my own anymore, I can be happy as long as I have something to draw with. This might sound absolutely nuts, but the years of self-refusal has caused such a volcano of emotion inside that I now have this out of proportion need to be doing, thinking, creatively. Constantly.
The other day I said to my friend, "You know, if I had gone to art school -- and got my creative itches out of the way -- I don't think I would be here now." Going to art school was an obsession of mine in the 30s. And now in my 40s, I am obsessing about.....
Pretty things. Time moving. Pretty things gone. Time moving. New pretty things. Time moving.
And I am just going nuts trying to catch up, or at least try to capture that moment it hits me in the stomach.
Thanks for reading. Not sure exactly where I will be going with this blog, but hope I can share my experience in running a business and being creative.